Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
