She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
