Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
