how can u be prego again
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
