WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Randomize
