I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
