I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
