Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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