She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
