why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
