Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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