he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
