Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I currently don't understand fingers.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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