dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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