i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
