Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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