You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
