everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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