your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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