my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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