My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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