i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I have surprise drugs for everyone
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
