She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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