He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
