this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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