Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
this boner is exhausting
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
It's shark week go big or go home
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
