yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
