Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
