I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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