We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
