mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
