As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
