It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
