is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
