Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
