Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
