so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
