I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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