At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I pour the whiskey from now on
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
