im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
