wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
