I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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