He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
