I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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