ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
The ass gains better be worth it
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