is your mom at the bar?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
