Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
