Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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