she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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