What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
please don't ironically join a cult
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